5-2-1 Smart Thursdays #43 (Parenting Mistakes)
5 Parents Mistakes To Avoid, 2 Inspirations, 1 question (16th November 2021)
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Happy 5-2-1 Impact Thursday!
Here are 5 Parenting mistakes you want to stop making, 2 Inspiring quotes from others, and 1 conversation starter/ question to think about this week.
5 Parenting Mistakes To Avoid
Dismissing Your Child's Feelings!
When parents say things like “it's not a big deal”, “don't be sad”, “you better stop this”… they often have no idea that they are telling their children their feeling don't matter. You can instead, explore the emotion with them and lead them to a place of understanding.
Doing Everything For Your Kid!
Get your child to wash their own dishes, change their own bedsheets, replace their own supplies. Let them have a choice on their food, do new activities with them. Help them get started but allow them space to follow through. Don't do everything for them.
Be Their Hero!
As parents, it's hard to watch our children struggle through challenges that we know we can easily fix. But there is no teaching “coming back from failure”. Unless the mistake is potentially backbreaking, you don't have to save them all the time.
Trying To Be Best Friends!
Understand that there are certain rules that cannot be broken and there are boundaries that cannot be crossed. Learn the art of tactful “negotiation” with your child when the situation arises and find the win-win solution.
For example, when you are at the playground and you really need to go but your child wants to stay. Instead of resorting to a power move by demonstrating authority, you could say… “darling, daddy is waiting for us, we have to go. Now, here's two choices.. either you play for another 3 mins and we leave OR we come back tomorrow and you get to play for 30 mins. What would you choose?”. Either choices your child makes, you'll be on your way in 5 mins. Find the double yes.
I'm Sacrificing For Your Sake!
The biggest disservice you can do to your kid is always putting yourself second. First, it burns you out meaning someone foreign would have to fill your role. Second, it sets a bad example. Instead Put your stress to good use. If you’re stressed, consider telling your child, “I had a very tiring day at work, I’m going to relax with tea and a book.”
💬2 QUOTES FROM OTHERS💬
“One generation of deeply loving parents would change the brain of the next generation, and with that, the world.”
– Charles Raison
“Children must be taught how to think, not what to think” – Margaret Mead
💭1 QUESTION TO ASK YOUR SELF💭
How would you change the way your parent you?
Our brains is capable of magnifying emotions and putting perspective out of proportions.
It could be the magnified fear of being spanked or the feeling of abandonment when you are being left alone at home that has affected your parenting view.
This self awareness exercise recalibrate and rebalances your experience.
So go deep, get asking.
Until next week,
Caleb & Megan
Founder, SG Smart Parents Conference
Straits Times Featured Property Advisor With 12 Year Track Record
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